The Family

One mother, one sperm donor, one grandmother, seven aunts, one aunt-in-law, two uncles, one uncle-in-law and six cousins make up my family. Like every family there is the weird, wonderful, outcast, annoying, lovable and troubling.

So let the tours begin. I’ll do it by anecdotes/statements: one good, one bad (or not so good).

Mom
Ah, mommy. She’s a teacher – I leave you to guess the upbringing.

Positive. It’s hard to choose just one – but here goes. Mom is a long-term thinker. She saved for years to buy the car you all now so well. She walked from George’s to Half-Way-Tree many a times. She grew her own calalloo field and that saved a bungle I tell you. She bought the car when I was in upper six. She said the real reason she got the car (and learned to drive at age 52) was because she knew I was starting university and she figured it would be hard enough in medical school without me having to ‘bus it’ everyday. So she insists in telling me (and everyone) that the car isn’t hers – it’s mine.

Not too good. Mom used to mark for CXC. I was at home in the days and would sometimes make cards for her. This one time I made a pretty decent card and fixed it up to look like it came in the mail. (You guys did this, right?) She got home and opened it up, looked at it, handed it to me and said: ‘You can do better Aleiya. Do it over.’ (Or something like that) I figure that not many children would handle that well. On the other side – you could say it made me a perfectionist. Lord knows I reread every thing that has to be presented umpteen times, looking for a way to improve every detail.

Sperm Donor
Positive. Yeah right.

Ok, fine.

Semi-positive. He once took me and his other bastard children (different mothers) out to Coney Park to get to know one another. It was a fun evening, I suppose, if you cancel him ‘checking’ one of the female employees at the game stands.

Negative. He sort of forgot to tell me I had a sister (half-sister) attending U.W.I. when I was there. (Not that he called anymore) So it was a bit odd to meet her ‘by a comical series of events’ on the library foyer. He was helping with her school fees. He most definitely was not helping with mine.

Grandmother
Well, grandma has been dying for some years now – and no one can convince her otherwise. She has refused to move from ‘bottom ground’ (the house down the path, over the rock wall, through the bush and pass the hogs) to the ‘top house’ (house by the paved road). She says if she ever fell ill we would have to carry her to the hospital on our backs. We did. Then we built a paved road to the bottom ground.

Positive. No one can cook a meal for ten in so short a time as grandma.

Negative. Her stubbornness.


Calm down, I’m not getting into each aunt, uncle or cousin – just the special ones.

Aunt W
Positive. She lives in Spanish Town.

Negative. When I was young she consistently searched my pockets when she hugged me – every single pocket.

Aunt M
Positive. She was the aunt who stayed with grandma when all the other bros and sis went to Kingston or wherever.

Negative. She doesn’t smile nearly as much as she should.

Uncle J
Positive. He likes pork – just like me. He’s born in November, just like me. His favourite colour is yellow, just like me. Get it?

Negative. Lives in Portland.

Aunt -in-law B
Positive. She gave me the cutest little cousin…
Negative. …that I had to baby-sit more than she stayed with him. She has caused some grief to the family – financial, emotional. But it’s interesting how much she and uncle M match.

That’s the short of it – let me know if you want the rest.